A comic Scene
Scene: “The Operating Systems Summit — Villains & Visionaries”
The lights dim. Three figures sit on stage.
On the left, Dr. Evil (Windows) — bald, buggy, and constantly asking,
“Why won’t this work properly?”
In the center, Tony Stark (Linux) — arrogant, brilliant, surrounded by half-finished prototypes.
He smirks,
“I can build anything. I just need a weekend, ten open terminals, and an argument with myself.”
And on the right, calm and immaculate in a tailored suit:
Lex Luthor (NetBSD).
No gadgets. No entourage. Just a USB stick labeled ‘/src’.
Dr. Evil taps the mic:
“I have an evil plan! I’m going to dominate every PC on Earth!”
Windows blue-screens.
Tony Stark laughs.
“Cute. My kernel builds faster than your installer loads.”
Lex Luthor crosses one leg over the other.
“Gentlemen… you’re both adorable.”
He slides the USB stick into the projector — which instantly syncs with the mainframe, an old ThinkPad, and a toaster in the green room.
Stark blinks.
“How—? I didn’t even see you compile!”
Lex smiles.
“I don’t compile, Tony. I port.”
Dr. Evil tries to reboot.
The lights flicker.
The projector now displays:
“Of course it runs NetBSD.”
Lex leans toward them and finishes,
“Some of us conquer with armies.
Some with gadgets.
I just used make build.”
Result: Tony Stark humbled. Dr. Evil rebooting.
And Lex Luthor — the embodiment of NetBSD — sipping espresso in victory,
because true power doesn’t crash, it cross-compiles.
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